Dating a girl with anxiety and depression
But when our partner has an illness that doesn’t go away for long periods of time, we have to learn how to balance taking care of ourselves while still being supportive to our partners. When you ignore your needs, they don’t go away; they only become greater over time.
If you put yourself aside for long enough, you will end up feeling lonely and resentful.
We put their needs first and forget about ourselves.
This is absolutely necessary and appropriate for a while.
That means suggesting an earlier movie when we ask for your opinions on what we should do tonight, or suggesting going for a run when we’re having a good day. But know that we are entirely capable of living without you.
It’s perfectly okay for us to have a therapist, or even a particular friend who we know will understand. You don’t need to stay in a relationship with someone who isn’t right for you because you’re scared of how we’ll react.
You already know there is much more to the person than their depression or you probably wouldn’t want to be with them.
And it can get frustrating dating someone who just can’t seem to get their head around it or – worse – ‘doesn’t believe’ in being depressed (IT’S NOT A UNICORN, IT’S A MEDICALLY DEFINED ILLNESS). Don’t doubt us if sometimes we’re perfectly happy and able to get on with things, then can’t get out of bed the next day. But we’re still going to cry and hate ourselves for it. Listen to our entirely illogical explanation for why we’re upset and help us through it. Sometimes we won’t react the way we’re supposed to when you do something lovely or something amazing happens. You casually mentioning any negative opinions on anti-depressants doesn’t help. Missing out on a job can push us into a months-long depressive period. But that doesn’t mean we can’t handle the truth or rubbish things happening.
Don’t say you’re ‘depressed’ when you’re feeling sad. If we do something wrong, criticise our actions, not us as a person. You don’t need to walk on eggshells or treat us like a delicate flower. Sometimes our down moments are prompted by something, sometimes they’re not. ’ Yes, we’re perfectly aware that there are people around the world without food and shelter.
Their false but strong belief that they have accomplished nothing or that they have little to live for can leave you feeling helpless, and confused as to how to respond.
These all-or-nothing, black-and-white thought patterns often illustrate depressed thinking.